Friday, January 24, 2014

Life - the journey I mistook to be me

Set your intent to reveal the future and it becomes the present. - Wendy's Coffeehouse Oracle

Journaling has commanded a large role in my life. Invaluable tool for charting personal progress and growth, it has given me clarity, direction, comfort and support when I needed an accurate account of events and objective insight into situations I could easily have misread.

It has also provided entertainment. Knowing we are a curious lot and others with whom I shared my space might be tempted to peruse my personal notes, I kept several notebooks in various stages and form.

Trying to find those and put them back together? I laugh. I created a puzzle for me as well. Each has a bit of the story but it makes for a tangled trail. Why? It was sometimes easier to write the moment and let it go than to worry about chronology. Fractured tales in journaling. Or is it fractured journaling in tales.

In reviewing my notes, I find it sometimes took years to connect spiritual dots. Some stuff I still can't believe happened. Awe doesn't diminish with time. 

As the path continued to unfold, leading me further down the rabbit hole, I would sometimes feel distracted or that I was following a blind lead but that experience later proved necessary in offering a vital detail or connecting me to person I would not have sought out who delivered an important clue. 

The treasure is having it in writing - the experience of mapping out everything - even my own false projections (outlined in scribbled detail). It very much helps to be able to read the emotion and the need of the moment to better appreciate the purpose was the journey and not the outcome.

Reflection
What becomes real in that knowing is that, no matter what we believe to be the outcome or final endpoint, ending isn't real. 

Real is ongoing flow, happening now. When we get caught up in our fabrications of the outer world, we miss that magic we are within. 

Here is a great place to be. Here is where it happens.
Here - I AM - Free. Free to flow, fly, create!


No matter how real it looks to me, even my journal is another fantasy. I have learned in all these years of writing and in reading those results, it is best to write with a view in mind of a reality I dream of rather than one I dread. 

At the time, I thought that my dreaded (fear) view was realistic. It was actually a projection. Light bulb! 


Given our power as manifestors and creators, each potential outcome is given viable form in the vision. I don't know the future. I do know what I dream now can become if I shift my view to empower my energy as a creator vs. witness or projector.

Did I spend days, moments, hours on that winded path? Only if the test was minor. Major tests required unfolding drama on multiple levels...and years. Dreams worked into the equation and reality followed suit. 

In journaling, I found myself - wrestling the illusion. I flew high and I plumbed the depths. Such is the process and nature of learning, of becoming, of being. It happens in curves, loops, leaps and dives, and - in all ways - now. 


My path was/is a zig-zag with hairpin curves, where some of those I thought closest to me faltered and bailed when they saw my/our path took us round the bend. They couldn't see the trail and that is a hard thing to take for granted as known by another. And/or even-more-so when the path you CAN see appears to lead into an empty void. Scary stuff. They left and I continued to trust.

Newsflash_ that black/white/empty_ void is where creation thrives. Only when one is ready to jump in are the hands that guide offered and the unseen support given to make the landing stick. Only when you finally allow yourself to be alone do you discover you are not. 

There is a higher plane of being from which we see all separation is temporary. Parting of ways allows revelation. We all meet again, albeit, in different form.


If you remember, you know. If not, you can. There is no rushing or forcing - the path for each is unique - made up of all one's past, future and present with personal signposts dotting the way. 

The traveler can call it - if he/she can remember that - and the journey will be so much more dazzling. No matter how real it all appears. Each and every being on your path is a reflection of creation. 

The true path is revealed when one relates to himself in such a way he can dodge past the detractors and distractions to engage that which resonates to a higher frequency or reflects an empowering note. 

To be that incredible void - where the colors spill out in ribbons and the mind boggles when trying to assign the experience in linear terms is to know we are at the threshold of a greater awareness.

What did I want to achieve with my journaling? Insight.
I have. And so much more.

I am connected to my Nightlights.
Set free the wings on your heart and follow the bubbles up.

An angel came to me in the waking dream...and gave me a vision.


I was so far down ..  
                                         down ..  
                                                                   down ..

.. drowning in a toxic relationship.

The soul work was necessary and had been done
but I had no strength to pull myself out
nor did I have a direction.

In the vision, a large, brown-skinned arm reached down from a cloud to offer me a hand up
and I was given the image of something that looked like a hook.

At the same time, a friend told me to listen to IZ ... a signpost. Thank-you.



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